One of the biggest questions about marriage is “How do we keep things fresh so we don’t get bored with each other?” My answer to this is, go out on a date!!! I’m not talking about a nice evening at Chucky Cheeses with the kids; I’m talking about a real date with flowers, wine and heck, maybe even a limo from time to time. Now this would be a big date but in between big dates we need to go on a series of small dates. This would entail getting a baby sitter for the kid(s) and going out to the movies, dinner, a few drinks at the local pub or just going for a nice bike ride to places that you normally don’t go. The one thing about having children is that it’s very easy to get stuck into a routine and not do anything for each other because you don’t think you have the time. And if you find the time, then the excuse usually is that you don’t have the energy. Well not having the time or energy is a poor excuse for not keeping a marriage fresh, fun and full of love and happiness.

From a personal perspective I can tell you that I have four children under seven years old and I am the only wage earning employee in the house. In other words, we live paycheck to paycheck much of the time. What makes our marriage a good one is that we find time for each other. We don’t go out on dates all the time, sometimes it’s only once in a month but we both look forward to that time together because we plan it ahead of time and stick to it. At times we do get to go out alone together more often and we are currently working on that prospect but we are taking it slow for now and not promising ourselves too much. Basically, we want to keep it fresh and doable. We can always tell when we need a date, things just get a little too tense in the house over the smallest of things.

For those of you that have family nearby (that’s not our situation) you have even better, and cheaper options. Not only can you save money on a few hours going out but now you can graduate to going out for dinner and having a romantic evening in a nice hotel. Once you get really into this dating theme and realize how much better it makes your relationship, you will soon find yourselves taking short weekend trips and creating many lasting memories and laughs together. Remember, find the time for each other, go to different places where you can talk and laugh a lot together when you’re out. Your affection for each other is contagious and will help to carry both of you through until the next date together. And even though I did say to plan these dates it is okay to surprise your spouse with an adhoc date from time to time as well. They'll love the thoughtfulness and you'll be richly rewarded.